Choosing a Username Made Easier

Recently I started another blog. You may be wondering why, since I’m clearly not doing such an outstanding job with this one, so allow me to explain. Or, you know, click off elsewhere into the interwebby beyond if you couldn’t give a rat’s nethers. (Spellcheck hates “nethers.” Spellcheck can kiss my nethers, if it autocorrects on me one more time.)

Anyway, back on topic, I decided to start a separate writing blog, a place where I could feel free to experiment, write bad poetry, and basically just muck about anonymously and unselfconsciously. It’s been kind of delightful, really, and I find  the anonymity liberating. Nobody knows me over there. Okay, one person knows me, but that person has sworn to take my secret to her/his grave. Okay, that’s a lie too, but I have complete confidence in her/his discretion, so that’s pretty much the same thing, right?

That isn’t what I want to talk about, though, although you could be forgiven for thinking that I’d finally arrived at my point. No, what I wanted to talk about was how bloody irritating it was trying to find a name for my alter-ego and her blog. I’m not saying that all the good names have been taken, but great whacks of them have been, and if you’re like me and find naming things to be as fun and easy as removing staples from your left eyebrow, you’ll understand if I use expressions like “despair,” and “oh, the perfidiousness of people who register blog names and then don’t use them,” and “weepage ensued.”

It occurred to me in the midst of my username/blog-name-search woe, that it would be mightily convenient to have some simple naming conventions to help us generate names that are not only unique but that speak to some of our interests and passions. And so I’ve developed one to help with creating a username. It’s pretty rudimentary, as in it’s not really a generator at all, but it works in a similar way. It just requires a little more work from you than simply plugging in data and waiting for magic to happen.

Essentially, all you need to do, should you be in search of a brand new username, is choose items from the following lists and string them together. You can choose one item from each list, or you can choose two from one list and one from another, or all three from one list. Abbreviations are fine–in fact they’re encouraged. No one wants a username that’s longer than their blog posts. Or so I’ve heard.

The name generator lists:

  1. A mashup of your first and last name/an abbreviation of either your first or last name/the name of your favourite author, artist, celebrity, superhero, movie or cartoon character, scientist or sports figure
  2. Adjectives connoting: colour/emotional state/temperature/size/shape/mental state/age/beauty (or lack thereof)/taste
  3. Favourite mystical being/mythological creature/supernatural being/insect/animal/vacation spot/mode of transportation/hobby/food/beverage/piece of furniture/sport/item of clothing/book/painting/newspaper/

Here, let me give you some examples:

  • Janey Winkelfrot  loves unicorns and being happy might go with: JFrotHappyCorn.
  • Daniel Lobdale, who is mega into chartreuse and elves could use: LobbyElftreuse
  • Fabio Botolph who loves vampires and Wonder Woman might decide on: FabolphFangLariatofHestia
  • Theresa Shuck, who’s partial to William Shakespeare and large strawberry milkshakes and Richard Hawking would choose WillieGinormoDick. Obviously.

Easy peasy, right? Don’t you wish you’d had this resource at your disposal last time you were trying to come up with an online alias? You’re welcome.

Feel free to use the list to create your own alter-ego username and post it in the comments. Or just ask, and I’d be delighted to create one for you from your selected list of ingredients. If you think I’m missing  essential items in any of the lists, please let me know that too!